Crazy Alien Dogs...

So I was flipping through the channels during a commercial the other night and I saw a thing on Much Music claiming that some unidentified animal was found in Toronto. Apparently it looked kinda like a wolf, but had blue lips and glowing blue eyes...well at least the eyes glowed prior to the thing being killed by a car.

Anyway...I'm too lazy to search the Intertron to find out what the deal was...so some of you computer savvy cats with too much time on your hands should fill me in. (Seriously, I mean cats. I know they are wired in to the Intertron. I swear one night I woke up and saw Emma surfing the net, drinking a coke, and order the destruction of a Russia submarine).

Corn is Evil.

Based Sween's reply to my"Dolls are Creepy" post, I've deduced that corn is of the devil. This helps to account for the fact that corn does not breakdown inside of us, and comes out in the same shape it went in. Clearly, our bodies weren't created to process evil like that.

However, don't feel you need to start boycotting popcorn...I've determined that it is perfectly safe for us. In fact, the reason it "pops" is because that is the evil being blown out of it.

Moral of the story...If you see someone who you believed to be possessed, simply put them in a popcorn maker and blown the devil right out of them.

Dolls are Creepy...

For those of you wondering how I ever ended up with such an amazing wife...I'll let you in on a little secret: She's actually a big geek. Part of the proof of this is her facination with the tv show X-Files. (Although in her defense she watches it mostly for the drama between the characters, which seems to be a normal female characteristic...and may reduce the geek factor). Anyway, part of being married is taking an interest in the things your other half is interested in. So I've been watching various episodes with her from time to time...although I prefer the interesting/freaky stories over the drama part. Well, one of the episodes was written by Stephen King and was about this crazy evil doll...and it got me thinking: Dolls really are creepy. And not just the evil demon possessed ones...I mean ALL dolls.

However, that little insight of mine made me start to question something else...(Here it is in the form of an equation, which I think I learned in philosophy):

Dolls are Creepy...
Dolls look like little girls...
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Little girls are creepy.

There you have it...little girls are in fact creepy. If you don't already fear them, I recommend you start.

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Okay, now time for a revealing question...

When I'm alone in the church at night I sometimes get scared. Is that normal, or am I just a huge wuss?

(Keep in mind that any responses that I find offensive will result in you being visited by several creepy little girls).