Friday, September 01, 2006

Anonymous...

I enjoy getting comments from "anonymous" people...partially because I start to imagine all of the anonymous comments as being from a single person. Here is what I imagine about this person:

1. They're male. They could probably just as easily be female, but the name "Anonymous" sounds a little masculine. Like Optimus or Gary.

2. His parents were hippies. This one is obvious...I mean who, other than pot smoking hippies, would name their child "Anonymous". Well...I suppose it also sounds Greek, so it could have been a Greek family, or a Greek family of pot smoking hippies.

3. He has a short fuse. Generally comments let by anonymous are laced with anger, foul language, and a slight hint of dijonaise.

4. He's a fan of passive aggression. Rather than own up to his opinions, he'd prefer to make them from the safety of a code name.

5. He's afraid of small children, uncut tobacco, and books with more than 300 pages.

6. He's ashamed of his family. This is obvious because he refuses to use his last name.

7. His favorite movie is "The Little Mermaid", although he'd never admit it.

8. He's sexually attracted to fire. I heard this once on "The Simpsons" and I think it probably applies here.

9. He has multiple personalities. This is obvious from looking at the extremely varied stances that his posts take.

10. He's deathly allergic to sound.

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