The World's Hardest Puzzle...
So....Massie completed the "World's Hardest Puzzle" a few nights ago. I guess that basically means that he is the greatest puzzle solver ever...and if you ever a stumped and need help with a puzzle, he is your man.
Okay....now, a few suggestions from Dr. Paul:
Some of you may be suffering from a terrible form of arthritis of the middle finger from excessive flipping people off....if that's the case I have two suggestions:
1. You could stop flipping people off. The obvious problem here is that there are so many people in the run of a day that need a good flipping off. That guy that consistently cuts everyone off. The old lady that always butts in front of people in line. The cocky little kid that yells at people when they walk by...our only defense against these terrible people is the middle finger, and now I'm telling you not to use it. But maybe there is another solution...
2. Hire a ninja to kill these people. Cause we all know the facts about ninjas:
Fact 1: Ninja's are mammals.
Fact 2: Ninja's kill ALL the time.
Fact 3: The purpose of a ninja is to flip out and kill someone.
Based on these facts, ninja's are a perfect replacement to the bird. Flipping someone off may make you feel better for a few minutes...but that person will just go back to being their jerky self and do it again. Ninja's make a much more lasting impression.
In the famous words of Gob (pronouced Jobe): "Why settle for the best, when you can settle for the rest.....of your life with a younger man."
Rainman
P.S. - Jo, what does a bbq "stake" taste like????
posted by Paul @ 12:40 PM
8 Comments:
What if I continue the flipping off, but only as a most excellent distraction mechanism in order to lure the offending party's attention away from the man in black creeping up behind them to silence them?
The only thing cooler than a ninja is a ninja team. Why a team, you ask? A team is needed to play Deathball, offical sport of the Ninja Nation.
Basically, what happens is that teams of, we'll say, 5 ninjas each square off in an orchard, because that's where ninjas usually face off, unless it's a mountainside monestary. At any rate, a ball is placed in the middle of the field, and a whistle is blown. Then, as ninjas are prone to doing, they all disappear, and the teams spend time eliminating each other until one team is gone. Then the remaining team eliminates it's own teammates until only one remains, because, hey, ninjas kill all the time. That ninja goes into the middle and picks up the ball and wins. He probably eviscerates the ball and the guy who blew the whistle to start the match for good measure as well.
My favorite Deathball team is the Silent Hand. Sadly, I can't remember any of the players names, mainly because they're always getting killed, but also because if I knew any of their names, they'd have to kill me.
Some people can't help flipping up their middle finger. My Aunt Judy's middle finger got stuck in the upright position, but fortunately her husband is a physical therapist.
Where can I get my very own ninja? Is there a local ninja union I coudl contact?
Dr. Paul,
It seems that the large amount of scheutrons you have given me are having severe side-effects. For example:
1. Ninja nightmares. I wake up in a paranoid fever that there are ninja's in my closet, under the bed, and in the pantry.
2. Strange cravings. I put BBQ sauce on everything. Even bread. Even carrots.
3. Supernatural events. Car troubles that don't make sense. Having important syllabi vanish into thin air, etc.
These are side effects that I cannot tolerate any longer. If you do not have any other suggested remedies, I will just have to get a second opinion from Dr. Phil (who visits my blog and writes on it, but you wouldn't know because you don't seem to want to stay current with the medical world by visiting there).
Oh please, Rob, you're too kind--too kind. But do keep it up. It keeps me feeling as if I'm the smartest man in the world, b/c we can't let the word out that I'm not. Who knows what the people will do? They go crazy when the unexpected happens.
Dont tell Chris that 'cause he's getting a big head:-)
All I know is I hate playing games with him because I'm very competitive too.
I've recently discovered that all the liotons that I have in my body allow me to safely breed ninjas on my ninja farm. So if you need a ninja, you know where to come.
I need a ninja I need a ninja!!!!
What is this infamous "World's hardest puzzle" anyway?
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